Well shit...

"RotaryLover" (rotarylover)
06/27/2014 at 10:27 • Filed to: Help needed

I gotta clean all this. Parents are coming back tonight. This was one day worth of dishes on my cooking...damn. Then I gotta prepare a dinner to greet them. I just don't know what to cook though. Any suggestions?

DISCUSSION (100)

William Byrd > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:29

Kinja'd!!!

Jagvar > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:30

Kinja'd!!!

Cleaning's a breeze!

vdub_nut: scooter snob > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:30

papajohns.com

Audi-os, Amigos! > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:30

Cut up some chicken breast, cook in a pan with olive oil over high heat til done, then add chopped green peppers, onions, garlic and any other veggies you like until they're soft. Cook some pasta/rice and serve together.

Dank and easy.

RotaryLover > William Byrd
06/27/2014 at 10:31

The mask's expression LOL.

As Du Volant > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:31

No big deal, that's slightly more than one day of average cooking in our kitchen. It'll take 40 minutes to clean up.

I have a bitchin' lasagna recipe I can share. Always a crowd pleaser. It'll likely cost you upwards of $30 for the ingredients though.

William Byrd > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:32

Patrick Swayze in Point Break. Good stuff.

RotaryLover > As Du Volant
06/27/2014 at 10:32

Cost is not an issue.

spanfucker retire bitch > Jagvar
06/27/2014 at 10:32

I legitimately wish you could a controlled burn of a single room. I'd that with the basement without a second thought, were it possible.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:32

Spaghetti, garlic bread, and a very complicated salad. Short cooking cycle, not that hard to get right as long as your ingredients cost enough, and can be prepared at any level from "depression middle class" to "swanky". Also, just uses a bowl, spaghetti pot, and a pan.

ColoradoTaco > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:32

Keep it easy, steak, roasted asparagus, and a baked potato

RotaryLover > vdub_nut: scooter snob
06/27/2014 at 10:33

LOL I wanna do something awesome with my own hands.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:35

You want my bitchin' one-pot chili recipe?

*note: you must be old enough to purchase alcohol in your jurisdiction*

ttyymmnn > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:35

Start at one end and work your way around.

Stay home dad, years of experience cleaning kitchens. And bathrooms. And doing laundry.

RotaryLover > ColoradoTaco
06/27/2014 at 10:35

Don't have steak and asparagus. I could go get some!

RotaryLover > vdub_nut: scooter snob
06/27/2014 at 10:36

I more than qualified for this. But spicy food aren't their forte anymore.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:38

It's not spicy, aside from some store brand chili powder and black beans. I ALWAYS end up dumping more into my own bowl because my mom hates spicy stuff.

RotaryLover > ttyymmnn
06/27/2014 at 10:39

I need to learn from you. I was so busy trying to do laundry, keep the house clean everywhere, ironing my clothes, cleaning both my father's and my car and cleaning the dishes everyday that I didn't even have time to make all the plans I wanted to realise during these 2 weeks...

RotaryLover > vdub_nut: scooter snob
06/27/2014 at 10:40

I'll try it. Give me the recipe. hahaha

yamahog > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:41

What do you have to work with foodwise?

You can do pulled chicken sandwiches pretty easily... Shred some poached chicken with a fork while hot, toss with your favorite barbeque sauce, throw on a bun, add cheese, pickles, and/or coleslaw, boom. Good with a side of your favorite greens (I like broccoli) and maybe some smashed red potatoes.

RotaryLover > yamahog
06/27/2014 at 10:44

I do have chicken strips and nuggets. Got some frozen ground meat. Basic vegetables. No more bread.

RotaryLover > Jagvar
06/27/2014 at 10:46

I'd probably be gone in flames later on after that hahaha.

ttyymmnn > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:47

The trick is to do just enough around the house during the day that when your wife gets home she can see that something has been done besides a whole day of Oppo. You will learn, Padawan.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:48

looks like my place, but with less unopened mail...

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:48

http://www.simplyrecipes.com/m/recipes/pepp…

Simple and fucking delicious.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:49

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

1 can (like 18 oz, I think) light red kidney beans

1 can (18? oz) dark red kidney beans

1 can (18? oz) black beans

1 lb ground beef

1 small can (8-10 oz) tomato paste

a small onion/half a large one, diced

some cut up celery for texture, if that's your thing

1-2 cups of rum (Calico jack, captain morgan, Kraken... Must be spiced)

Your favorite chili powder

Any other spices, if you wish to sully the recipe

****

1. Brown the beef, drain

2. insert celery and onions, sautee for a minute or two

3. INSERT RUM

4. Drain beans, insert beans

5. Insert tomato paste and one can of water

6. Spice time

7. Stir, simmer, stir some more

after an hour, it should be good. If it's too thick, add some water and stir it around. Let it simmer for a bit afterwards if you do. It just works better.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > As Du Volant
06/27/2014 at 10:49

if your lasagne costs less than $30 to make You're Doing It Wrong ;)

bob and john > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:49

Id recommend making a good shepards pie
here is what I use:
2-3 potatos
1 onion, chopped
1 ! carrot, chopped
ground pork (i think it was a pound? or 1/2? idk)
ketchup
dill to season.

steps: get a baking pan, line it with aluminum foil

lightly oil the pan

mash the potatos
spread 1/2 the potatos on the bottom of the pan

brown the onion and the carrot for 3-4 min in a pot
add the ground meat and stir until it mises well with the onion
keep stirring on medium heat until the meat is starting to get crumbly
add meat (on top of the first layer of potatos) to the pan
add the rest of the potato on top of the meat
spread some ketchup on the top

poke holes in the pie with a fork to let the flavours mix right

bake @ 350 F until the ketch up is dried.

i dont remember how many serving this makes, but every time i go home, this is ALL i eat. works great with a side of ceaser salad and pickles or relish.

Nibbles > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:50

I have a huge number of recipes, ranging anywhere from "stupid simple" to "oh god cooking all day long" and from "bout tree fiddy" to "why did you spend this much?" If you are still looking for ideas, tell me what you got to work with, what they like, and what you're willing to go get and I'll toss some good ideas

RotaryLover > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t
06/27/2014 at 10:51

Look behind you.

yamahog > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:52

Hmmm, maybe you should just do a small round of grocery shopping too, they'll probably be grateful for that just as much as dinner.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:52

Ah, yes. I see.

RotaryLover > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
06/27/2014 at 10:52

Kinja'd!!!

Audi-os, Amigos! > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:53

Dishes, car washing and laundry took 2 weeks?

RotaryLover > yamahog
06/27/2014 at 10:54

Groceries...I haven't done it in years...

OPPOsaurus WRX > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:55

chicken parm is rather easy but impressive.

dip chicken breast in egg, roll in breadcrumbs.

fry in veggie oil, medium heat

put in baking pan, cover in sauce and motzerella cheese

bake till chickens done.

boil water add pasta

done

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:56

The Dinner Spinner is always fun...

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > ColoradoTaco
06/27/2014 at 10:57

OH! I have a good asparagus recipie!!

Dukie's Kick Ass-pargus:

One bunch of Asparagus

Small block of Gruyere cheese (Jarlsberg can be substituted)

1 each Red, Green & Yellow pepper

1 medium onion (white or yellow)

Olive oil

Salt

Pepper

Garlic

Wash and prep asparagus

Cut the peppers into strips (think fajitas)

Cut onion in to strips

Shred cheese

Place asparagus on a cookie sheet, cover with peppers and onions evenly.

Drizzle with olive oil

Salt, pepper & garlic to taste (I usually do 3-4 cloves)

Cover with shredded cheese

Place in a preheated 400 degree oven until the cheese has melted.

Enjoy your asparagus and smelly piss!

Crocket Bernet > Audi-os, Amigos!
06/27/2014 at 10:57

I know right, shit would have taken me 2 years!

ColoradoTaco > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 10:58

Plus you can cook all of it on a grill so you don't have to heat your house up using the oven and stove.

Sn210 > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:01

you could go the pulled chicken route and throw it in a slow cooker. Dinner will cook itself while you clean the house, then everything will be ready when they get home. Sweet Baby Ray's honey chipotle sauce mixed with a jar of peach preserves poured over some chicken that's been cooking slow all day is awesome

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:02

Ramen noodles eggs and cordon blues.

CAR_IS_MI > ttyymmnn
06/27/2014 at 11:04

I chose the simpler route. Just don't get a wife then you have no wife to tell you too much Oppo...

CAR_IS_MI > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:06

Kinja'd!!!

They will never know you didn't make it...

ttyymmnn > CAR_IS_MI
06/27/2014 at 11:06

Good thinking. And don't get married for the sex. It doesn't work that way.

RotaryLover > Audi-os, Amigos!
06/27/2014 at 11:06

Well the 2 weeks got like this: Thursday June 12th I drop my parents to the airport. Raining, didn't do shit. Friday to Monday: I work so I didn't do shit. Tuesday I do my own food, start to clean up the kitchen. Wednesday I clean up all the 3 cars. Go back inside, do my food and go out. Thursday I do the laundry for the first time in quite a while and go overkill and do the dishes. Friday to Monday I go to work. Did nothing. Tuesday I had to get a friend from a airport, do my food and go out with a girl. Wednesday, I just cleaned up the WHOLE house and invited a friend over. Then yesterday I finished up the clean up and got to do food again, cleaned both main cars, got the trash and recycle bin out. Today I took the day off from work to prepare for all this.

CAR_IS_MI > ttyymmnn
06/27/2014 at 11:08

From the wisdom passed onto me by a many a poor boy soul I have been informed the sex works just the opposite way after marriage. Also, the money seems to disappear too.

ncasolowork2 > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:10

Go buy 3 top sirloin cap steaks. Tenderize them. Throw them in a ziplock bag with half a bottle of Lawrey's steak n chop marinade. Grill to a medium rare/medium temperature.

Cut up redskin potatoes and throw on some italian seasonings. throw in tinfoil and grill.

Grilled asparagus and some grilled garlic toast and you're set.

As Du Volant > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:10

Ingredients:

-1 lb sweet Italian sausage (get loose sausage, if your store doesn't have it get 1lb of links and cut them open, pull out the meat and throw out the casings)
-1 clove garlic, minced
-1 tablespoon basil (chopped fresh basil is best, dried works if that's all you've got)
-Salt
-Pepper
-28oz can tomatoes (you can use any kind you want but I prefer crushed)
-1 12oz and 1 6oz can tomato paste
-Lasagna noodles (for best results do NOT use the no-boil noodles)
-2 eggs
-3 cups ricotta cheese (larger tub, I believe it's the 24oz size)
-1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
-2 tablespoons parsley flakes
-1 lb sliced Mozzarella cheese (get this from grocery store deli, not the cheese shelf in the dairy section)

Process:

Start with the sauce.

-Brown sausage meat in a frying pan, drain fat, transfer meat to a decent size pot (make sure you save a pot big enough to boil the noodles though)
-Add cans of tomatoes and tomato paste
-Add garlic, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, and basil
-Simmer uncovered 30 minutes
-After it's done simmering, add pepper, 1 teaspoon salt, and parsley

Boil noodles according to instructions on package while the sauce is simmering.

Next prepare the cheese.

-Beat the two eggs in a large mixing bowl, add the ricotta, and stir until thoroughly mixed

Assembly. Use a rectangular pan, grease the pan using cooking spray or just put a little butter in it and smear it around with your fingers. I've found it really helps to use the bottom of a large spoon to spread the ricotta and sauce around. Assemble in this order, from bottom up:

-Noodles
-Ricotta cheese mix
-Sliced mozzarella
-Sauce
-Noodles
-Ricotta cheese mix
-Sliced mozzarella
-Sauce
-Top with grated Parmesan

Bake at 375 degrees F for 30 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before serving. Enjoy!

It takes about 2 hours start to finish to make this, but only about 45 minutes of actual time working in the kitchen.

Kinja'd!!!

RotaryLover > ColoradoTaco
06/27/2014 at 11:10

I don't have a grill anymore :(

RotaryLover > CAR_IS_MI
06/27/2014 at 11:12

hahahahahaha! They would be happy though!

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 11:12

That's....that's ghetto lol

RotaryLover > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t
06/27/2014 at 11:13

OH THIS IS BRILLIANT!

ncasolowork2 > ncasolowork2
06/27/2014 at 11:14

oh and bonus because my idea generates almost no cooking dishes.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:17

That is what I make myself. and the whole meal cost around $9.

ColoradoTaco > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:18

How do you survive?!?! I use mine all year round and would be lost without it. PLus no can argue with "I'm firing up the grill, think I'll have a beer too".

CAR_IS_MI > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:18

I just always found those commercials hilarious where the mom has the family straight convinced she made all this fried chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, biscuits, and what have you, and all in the time it took her to drive home from work! Amazing!

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 11:26

I need something more impressive :P

RotaryLover > ColoradoTaco
06/27/2014 at 11:27

I know...I was supposed to do a bbq party...but I realised that my sister now owns the grill. I was pissed.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 11:46

If you make it, I'd love to know how you like it and any changes you made.

For science.

RotaryLover > vdub_nut: scooter snob
06/27/2014 at 11:49

No problemo!

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 13:06

Kill an animal with your bear hands build a fire and cook it.

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 13:21

Hum...will a cat or a dog suffice?

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 13:26

NO but a raccoon or squirrel will.

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 13:31

These are fast little fellas. Do you know how I can get them?

RotaryLover > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
06/27/2014 at 14:26

I'm keeping this one in file. I won't have the time to get Asparagus right now.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 14:27

Run them over or shoot them with a pellet gun.

RotaryLover > Nibbles
06/27/2014 at 14:32

Money wise I have no issues. I got frozen chicken strips that are already covered in bread crumbs. I got brocolli, celeri, potatoes, ground beef frozen, carrots, spices...

RotaryLover > OPPOsaurus WRX
06/27/2014 at 14:33

Hum....that's a simple interesting idea.

RotaryLover > Audi-os, Amigos!
06/27/2014 at 14:33

Hum...I don't have any chicken right now though...

RotaryLover > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
06/27/2014 at 14:35

Especially when I mastered the cooking of spaghetti over the weekend...I used to drain all the water, which made them stick together.

Audi-os, Amigos! > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 14:37

Sub any meat you want, it all works. Just cut the raw stuff into manageable cubes or strips, whatever you like. Then throw it on a hot pan with a little olive oil until your biggest piece, when cut in half, is cooked through.

Then just add chopped veggies until they reach the desired level of softness you like. Veggies are safe to eat raw, so cooking them is just to get them to the squishiness and taste you like.

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 14:51

WHY THE HELL DID I LISTEN TO YOU!??? I WAS ABOUT TO GET THAT SQUIRREL WITH MY CAR BUT INSTEAD I'VE HIT A CAR!! I RAN AWAY OF COURSE, NO ONE SAW ME!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID YOU FUCKER!

Kinja'd!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Nibbles > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 14:54

Quick and cheap - ground beef stir fry. Go get two packs of oriental ramen and a small bag of frozen peas. Thaw the beef. Brown 1 lb with one pack of oriental seasoning. Stir fry the celery, broccoli, peas and carrots. Boil up the noodles al dente. Mix beef and veg together with remaining packet of seasoning, add noodles to your liking (for me, it's about 1.5 packs so I cook up both just to be sure). You could do the chicken instead of beef, though the oriental seasoning may be too much. Possible substitutes - teriyaki, lemon pepper, soy and ginger?

OPPOsaurus WRX > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 15:02

its really easy and comes out like looking like it took an all day effort

RotaryLover > ncasolowork2
06/27/2014 at 15:39

How do I tenderize them? Do I have to marinate them for hours?

ncasolowork2 > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 15:41

I have a meat tenderizer... basically just hit them with something heavy. As far as marinade I like to marinade for at least 2 hours, but 24 or 48 is even better.

RotaryLover > Nibbles
06/27/2014 at 15:45

What do I do if I don't have oriental seasoning? Nvm i'll go buy it...

RotaryLover > ncasolowork2
06/27/2014 at 15:50

I'm gonna keep this on the side. I do wanna try it, but I wanna make it right if I have to marinate them for 24-48 hours normally.

ncasolowork2 > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 15:56

Even better is if you have a food saver. You can vacuum seal the marinade in with the meat.

RotaryLover > ncasolowork2
06/27/2014 at 15:58

Damn, I'm under equiped lol.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 16:21

LOL If you shoot your foot they will come.

Nibbles > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 16:23

The packets come with the oriental ramen

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 16:23

I ain't listening to you no more man!!! This got me through a roller coaster of emotions man...

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 16:30

Oh and Dump the model and go for the crush.

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 16:36

Bro, why u do dis?

Kinja'd!!!

Squirrels didn't even stopped man! Stop lyin' to me man! My skin turned white too! I think I'm in shock...

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 16:47

LOL

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 18:11

Thanks man....I lost both...the model was like "We we're going out? Like dating???" and the crush said "You took too long and you act like a player, bye". I'm broken man...

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 18:16

OOOO The crush is your fault but the model man that stings.

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 21:05

Vnice...Im drun as hel.......I feel like drivimg for onme last timee...hepl meeee

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 21:06

Don't driv if your drunk.

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 21:51

*dies* You see Vince? How deadly tips can be? I think we learned a lesson. We should give good tips to people. I'll start ahead of you. Get a Miata.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > RotaryLover
06/27/2014 at 22:58

I wanna beetle.

RotaryLover > Vince-The Roadside Mechanic
06/27/2014 at 23:53

Next week you'll get a Miata lol